Today I feel so much better! Yesterday I took the day off. The whole day! Of course I still took care of my children, but I really did whatever I wanted to do. I did not get up until 11. Of course I got up and got the children cereal starting at 6:40 and subsequently a little after 7. Caylee and Natalie can get cereal for themselves, but if I leave the cereal anywhere where they can get it Macy can get it also and will steal it to snack on. I have to keep a constant eye after her. Then after being woken up for some silly reason or another what seemed like every few minutes I told the girls they could watch a movie. So, for an hour I got some good solid sleep. I finally really got up at 11 feeling physically refreshed, but still mentally weary. I have a list of things that I want to do that have been neglected for awhile. Blogging is one of the things that I have been wanting to do, so I just spent the day catching up on my blogs and reading the blogs of others. About 2:30 I realized, "Oh, I need to take Caylee to dance in a few minutes!" So I gathered everyone up and we took off for dance class. We even made it on time. I always take the other children to the park to play while Caylee is dancing, so we went and enjoyed the gorgeous weather. For dinner we went to Tegan's like we always do on Monday's so I didn't even have to cook dinner. What a wonderful day!

I was actually feeling mad at myself for being so extremely lazy. I did not clean at all yesterday. I really did not get anything productive done except what I previously mentioned. I was feeling guilty the whole day, but I just felt like I could not deal with my life. Saturday and Sunday I felt like my stress cup was full and I could not take anymore. Everytime something would happen I get super irritated. I didn't really yell at my children I was just annoyed all day and not real pleasant to be around.

It was probably when I was at the park that I noticed that I felt better than I had felt all week. It just occured to me that maybe some down time was what my body and mind needed to process the major life adjustment. I had felt like I was being naughty and I was worried that Asher would be upset at me for shirking most of my duties. It is really not like me to do that. Not because I am worried about Asher getting angry, but because I don't like living in my house when it has been neglected. But I realized that as a mom that I really don't get days off and I needed some rest. What an epiphany! I wish I had realized that sooner because then I could have enjoyed the day without the guilt.

I talked to Asher about it when we got home and I asked him if he noticed if that I had not been quite myself recently. His reaction indicated to me in the definite affirmitive that, yes, he had noticed. He was being kind and had not said anything to me.

I feel so good now. I feel so normal. This is absolutely wonderful. I just hope that it lasts.