Today I feel so much better! Yesterday I took the day off. The whole day! Of course I still took care of my children, but I really did whatever I wanted to do. I did not get up until 11. Of course I got up and got the children cereal starting at 6:40 and subsequently a little after 7. Caylee and Natalie can get cereal for themselves, but if I leave the cereal anywhere where they can get it Macy can get it also and will steal it to snack on. I have to keep a constant eye after her. Then after being woken up for some silly reason or another what seemed like every few minutes I told the girls they could watch a movie. So, for an hour I got some good solid sleep. I finally really got up at 11 feeling physically refreshed, but still mentally weary. I have a list of things that I want to do that have been neglected for awhile. Blogging is one of the things that I have been wanting to do, so I just spent the day catching up on my blogs and reading the blogs of others. About 2:30 I realized, "Oh, I need to take Caylee to dance in a few minutes!" So I gathered everyone up and we took off for dance class. We even made it on time. I always take the other children to the park to play while Caylee is dancing, so we went and enjoyed the gorgeous weather. For dinner we went to Tegan's like we always do on Monday's so I didn't even have to cook dinner. What a wonderful day!

I was actually feeling mad at myself for being so extremely lazy. I did not clean at all yesterday. I really did not get anything productive done except what I previously mentioned. I was feeling guilty the whole day, but I just felt like I could not deal with my life. Saturday and Sunday I felt like my stress cup was full and I could not take anymore. Everytime something would happen I get super irritated. I didn't really yell at my children I was just annoyed all day and not real pleasant to be around.

It was probably when I was at the park that I noticed that I felt better than I had felt all week. It just occured to me that maybe some down time was what my body and mind needed to process the major life adjustment. I had felt like I was being naughty and I was worried that Asher would be upset at me for shirking most of my duties. It is really not like me to do that. Not because I am worried about Asher getting angry, but because I don't like living in my house when it has been neglected. But I realized that as a mom that I really don't get days off and I needed some rest. What an epiphany! I wish I had realized that sooner because then I could have enjoyed the day without the guilt.

I talked to Asher about it when we got home and I asked him if he noticed if that I had not been quite myself recently. His reaction indicated to me in the definite affirmitive that, yes, he had noticed. He was being kind and had not said anything to me.

I feel so good now. I feel so normal. This is absolutely wonderful. I just hope that it lasts.

Last night we had movie night with some of the folks from the bible study. It was super fun. We had started out doing kind of a potluck idea, but that did not last long because nobody seems to want to be bothered with having to cook something every single week. Especially the single guys who live in the dorms and normally eat at the chow hall. It is funny though, the guys like to cook way more than the girls do. Except Tegan. So now what seems to happen is Asher and I provide the food and we all cook it together. Last night Clayton (sitting to the right of Asher on the couch), Joe our authentic italian chef (left of Asher on the floor) and Jake (bottom of picture) just came in and took over the cooking of the spaghetti and sides. It was wonderful. I stayed in the kitchen to help, but mostly to show them where everything was. The spaghetti turned out delicious. Much better than if I made it. They made sure that the pasta was al dente, not "mushy." They also added stuff to the sauce to make it taste better. We really had a wonderful time the whole evening. I love that these people do not care that our house is tiny and not spotless.

BABY SERENITY IS BORN!
I finally had the baby last week. I am sorry that I did not make any sooner announcements. Up until now I just did not feel like I had the time to sit down and write a lengthy post. I wanted to share my birth story with you ladies because I had this one naturally and I know a lot of you have done the same thing.
Serenity was born on Saturday, February 24 at 3:30 am. She was 7 lbs 11 oz, 22 1/2 inches, which is the biggest of all my other babies. She is about an inch to and inch and a half longer than the rest.
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The night I gave birth was really crazy. We have bible study at our house on Fridays so everybody came over as usual. I did not want to cancel it because I was not sure that I was in actual labor until everybody was already at my house. So, here I was trying to make final preperations while trying to not be too distracting to the teaching going on in the living room. Everybody stayed until about 11:00 and I didn't mind because they were helping to keep my mind off of what was going on. But after they left I really started having the hard contractions. So I called Joncia and Cathy. They got there at 12, and that is when my contractions were really turning into something I had to breathe through and concentrate on. They had me lay down on the birthing ball and applied heat to lower back. Wow, that made so much of a difference. I remember Cathy telling me a few times to breathe through the contraction because I was busy talking, but I really didn't need to with the hot compresses. I was so relaxed and in such a good space. My mom, who was there to watch the children, was getting really worried that I was going to have a baby in my living room because quick labor runs in our family. Joncia had told me ahead of time that she would not give me any medical advice and that includes when I should go to the hospital. I didn't move too quickly because everything was going so well. It just didn't seem like it was time yet. Finally, my mom's urgings became more serious and I realized she was right. I am so glad she was there.
When we got to the hospital, as soon as we got into the room I hit transition. That was so hard. Joncia and Cathy still used the compresses and the ball, which helped for a little while, but then the pain got so intense that it didn't seem to matter anymore.
There was a little tension with the doctor that was on call. The way it works at Rennassaince Physicians is that Dr. Martin and another doctor trade off doing the deliveries. So I knew that it would be pretty much a 50/50 chance that I would get my doctor for the birth. I also knew that the other doctor that works with Dr. Martin does not have the same philosophies as she does. Well, this other doctor was not too excited about my birth plan and gave me a hard time about it. In the end though she got on board and ended up actually being really great about it.
I did not quite expect transition to be that hard. I am not sure what I was expecting, but wow. That was hard. I ended up demanding pain meds even though I knew that there was no way I was going to get them. The anesthesiologist was on call so it would have taken 20 minutes for him to get there if he hurried. I knew that Stadol was not what I was looking for either. I just needed to have some hope to focus my mind on. Dealing with the pain in that moment was just too much. The nurse told me afterwards that she was able to determine that the baby was getting ready to come because I was asking for medicine.
Well, I made it through and Serenity was beautiful. Right after the birth I told Cathy that it was a good experience, but I would never, ever do that again. Now that I have had a week to get some perspective I am not so sure about that. It doesn't really matter because I am done having children, but I think I would go natural again given the opportunity. I felt better after the birth because I did not have pitocin which

makes me hemmorage. If I did do it again I would have Joncia and Cathy there. They were so great. I could not have made it through without them. They knew just what to do to help me and they were right there for everything little thing that I needed.
Serenity is doing great now. For the first few days she was so fussy, even after my milk came in. But about Thursday she just seemed to relax and calm down. Now she is sleeping better and seems to be fitting in so well to our family. The girls adore her. Caylee is excited about learning to change her diapers. Natalie is constantly asking when she can hold baby Serenity. Macy calls her Sery because Serenity is an awfully big word for her to be able to say clearly. Bethany is learning to stroke her head nicely instead of digging her fingers into the baby's face. Asher is really great with her too. He and Serenity already have a special daddy/daughter bond. Last night she actually slept through the night. I was not expecting that. At first I was worried that she would not get enough to eat, but my older sister started sleeping through the night when she was just a couple of day old and I did at a couple of weeks old and we never had any problems with weight gain. Of course we have our doctor's appt. coming up real soon so I will be able to keep a close eye on her