Today is Thursday so I went to the school to volunteer. As I was sitting in Mrs. Whaylen's class (Caylee's teacher) I was thinking to myself that this seemed like the perfect school situation for my girls for right now. Especially for Caylee. First of all I do not worry about secular influences penetrating into her thoughts too much because I have gotten a strong feeling that she and I are on the same page as our beliefs. We have not had a formal conversation about it because there is always so many other things to discuss. But I have picked up little things here and there. One instance I saw a bag of candy in the back of the class today and asked her if we were going to have a haloween party and she said yes but it won't be celebrating halloween. I like that she puts a stong emphasis on Thanksgiving just like Christian Heratige Academy does. We are planning to put together a play coming up pretty soon.
Caylee is learning so much and Mrs. Whaylen is filling in gaps that she had. Caylee reads great but needs extra work in math. Also when she first started she was probably the slowest person in the class. Their were a few that were close contenders but I think she would have earned that title. In homeschool she was used to going at her own pace and didn't have any incentive to go faster other than Mommy nagging not to mention it made it more difficult to get alot done. Even the timer did not work too well. But now if she does not go fast then she has to work while others are reading books and she has extra homework. It took about 3 or 4 weeks but nowI am proud to say that she can keep up with the class quite well. Part of the reason that she was slow was because I was a bit of a stickler on handwriting (due to my training at CHA). I have noticed that it is not quite as important at Sheppard as I would like it to be, but I can't have everything the way I would like it.
Another reason that I like Caylee's class is that there is more socialization. Some homeschoolers will deny it fiercly to the end. But homeschooling families, unless they live in a neighborhood with a lot of children, tend to get isolated because they are busy doing school at home. Do they still get enough? I would say usually yes. I am not saying that homeschoolers don't get enough, I am jsut saying there is more in a public school setting usually. The reason I am bringing this up is because Caylee spends alot of time with the children in her class. Of course when any group of people spend alot of time together, what happens? Conflict. It is usually the girls. Caylee had one of her friends say they were not friends because Caylee did not obey this girl's orders. She mentioned it too me at home and we had a talk about how girls say things like that to manipulate each other and they don't really mean it. Well, the next day everything was smooth again and Caylee learned a good lesson. Caylee never seemed to have conflict with her other friends in Oklahoma so I think she is having some valuable experiences.
Natalie is doing very well. She knows how to sign all the letters of the alphabet. Her teacher uses it adds is in when they are working on spelling and she uses it as a quiet game whenever needed. Natalie is great at math. We got her report card yesterday and she recieved all A's and one B in reading but I know that will improve with practice.
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Abby, Abby, Abby. Okay, don't take this personally.....it's fine and GOOD to have different views. Are you ready for mine? Brace yourself! Here it goes.
Socialization. Are you serious?! You really believe that they get more or better socialization in public school than when homeschooling??? Okay, I'm speaking generalities here because some PS are probably good and some homeschoolers are probably isolated, like you said, but generally most homeschoolers who are involved in activities get more socialization than PS kids. You should know that! Maybe you were just doing too much "school work" as a homeschooler to get your kids the socialization they need? Are you just trying to make youself feel better about your decision to put your kids in PS? Really, it's okay! Your kids, your decision!
My complaint about socialization in PS is not the amount they get or don't get, but the quality. When they are homeschooled, I am nearby if not right there with them when other kids (and adults, people of all ages, not just kids their age) are around them. Not so with PS kids. Even you cannot honestly say that you know for sure Caylee doesn't get any secular influence that you do not want her to have, no matter how involved you are in her school. You still are not there even half the time, and when you are, you're not always with Caylee and listening to what her friends are telling her, etc. She could get picked on and you can't do anything about it. She could eventually become a bully herself (I don't see that happening with Caylee, but as an example) and you would likely never know. She will learn from her peers things that you and Asher would not ever want her to know at such a young age. But you can't do anything about it because you cannot control her environment.
THAT is the #1 reason we homeschool! I just simply don't want my kids in that environment. (The whole school environment is like a prison, and that is part of it too along with the "socialization" I do not want them to get.) There are other reasons as well, but that is #1.
When you can control, for the most part, what comes into and goes out of your child's environment, you can ease them into knowledge of "worldly" things as they get older and are able to handle it. My own PS experience was not a horrible one, but there were bullies, foul language, dirty jokes and stories, sexual relationships (not me, but I saw it a LOT) and so forth, and it is WAY worse now. It was a lot worse my senior year after having been out of PS and in a private school for 4 years. Wow! Even though I went to PS for my last year in HS, I am so grateful that my parents at least sent my to a Christian school for 4 years where I had some good Christian friends and positive influence, during the most impressionable time of my "childhood" years. I still heard and saw all kinds of things, but not nearly as much as I did my senior year in PS.
You know I could go on and on about this for hours. My kids (and yours before this year) get the "real world" socialization because they live a "real" life every day. School is not real life. School is beauty and popularity competitions, drug pushing, boyfriend-stealing, homework cheating, raise your hand to go pee, bullying, etc. Is it really worth it to risk your child's innocence just for a few moments of peace during the day?
Now, having said all that, I don't believe exclusively that it is *wrong* to send your kids to PS. You can bathe them in prayer (and should anyway!) and send them out to the "mission field" (I have an opinion on that as well though, LOL), and your involvement can be a ministry as well. God gave your children to you and Asher, so it is your decision. :)
I just had to get that off my chest about socialization!!!!!!! You struck a nerve! LOL!
Ah, Cindy. I miss you and your strong views. Nothing wrong with a little debate every now and then, right?
I see where you are coming from and in fact I used to believe exactly as you. I had a lot of anxiousness starting school for that reason.
I have spent a lot of time thinking through this issue with myself.
Natalie and I had a conversation not too long ago about how there are girls in her class that like boys and have boyfriends and her perspective on them. She told me that she is never, ever going to have a boyfriend because they take a piece of your heart away when it is time to break up. This is something that I told her a long time ago and she has witnessed it already a couple of times at her young age so she believes it whole-heartedly. A couple of years ago I was worried because I felt she was being exposed to views I stood firmly against and I was worried that her peers would have more infuence than me which led us to having many discussions. Natalie is already a pragmatist at her young age. She does not accept a point of view just because it is told to her. I can see it in her eyes. She waits a little while to see how it works out and then makes up her mind on her own. Now I realize that she is only six and things will probably change. But for right now seeing how things have been going I am glad that I am able to have these kinds of conversations with my girls because of their exposure with other points of view. I really think the key is having a relationship with your children. Josh Mcdowell has a great quote. "Rules without relationship leads to rebellion." I am trying to stay involved by spending time talking to my girls, hanging out with them and volunteering at school to enter into their world.
So far I have not had to deal with any bullying. There is a girl in Caylee's class that can be a litle difficult to deal with. Caylee has a good friend Ally in the class that lives down the street. This other girl sometimes says some mean things because she is jealous of the friendship. Fortunately the last time anything happened I was helping at school and I am pretty sure I was able to deal with it for the time being. That type of socialization does not bother me either because I feel like that is learning how to deal with girl drama. I was real sheltered as a child and even though I had sisters I didn't know what to do with drama outside of my family. I really did not know how to have girlfriends until I met Lynn Robinson. Pretty sad, huh? Before I met her I took things way too personally which made it hard to get on that deep emotional level.
I think much of the bad things that you remember about PS are from high school. I went to PS in high school too and I remember how bad it was also. I don't think I am going to do PS for that long. I feel right now like I am going to take this thing year by year. Maybe for awhile I will have some children in PS and some in HS. I am going to pray about it alot for sure because there have been other situations where God was obviously guiding the situation (like when I met Asher) and I know He will contunue to take care of us. I am not saying that whatever I choose will be right because I feel like it is God's will. I have just been in situations where I did what I felt needed to be done and I look back and I am amazed at how God guided the situation to be exactly what we needed. So that is what I am doing here. I am trying to choose the best course and then trust God for the rest.
I really think the keys to having my girls in PS is getting inside my girls head by way a having a great relationship and like you said, bathing them in prayer. I am not one of those parents that assumes my children will be fine when they grow up because their Mommy and Daddy are christians and we go to church. They need help to process all the influences coming at them and I hope that I will always be there to guide them.
Well, I am impressed! You handled my criticism very maturely. :) I should have waited a day or two before responding so that I could have been more tactful!
I know your kids will be fine. Why? Because you and Asher will make sure of it. You will pray, talk to them, pray, talk, be involved as much as possible, pray, etc. I don't doubt that for an instant. I know you will be involved in whatever they do throughout life, and that is why I'm not worried about your kids.
The thing I was disagreeing with and so worked up about was your take on socialization. My point was the environment, that you can't control it, what goes into their brains and how they are treated (kids have very little freedom in school). That is really my main issue, probably because, like I said in my first comment, that is the #1 reason we homeschool. It doesn't have anything to do with "religious" reasons, but having some control over what they learn (and I'm not just referring to curriculum).
And the thing about Natalie's comments about the boyfriend, well, I'm not saying she will be like this, but a lot of kids say what their parents want to hear but may not necessarily follow those same convictions. Peer pressure is so strong, even when friends aren't exactly telling them to do or say certain things, if everyone else is doing it, the pressure is tremendous.
I think that is where I was blessed. I actually hated to follow the crowd (and still do, surprise, surprise! LOL!), so I saw everyone around me making horrible decisions (even in elementary school....I only went to PS for one year in high school....I saw tons of things in 1st-7th grade too) and I chose to do the right thing, if for no other reason at the time, just to be different! I did have strong convictions though even in the first few years. My BFF would apologize to me any time she cussed (and it was a lot!), and I was constantly inviting kids to church functions. I saw a lot of my brothers' friends make very poor choices, getting girls pregnant, drinking and driving (and one of them died in a motorcycle accident as a result), etc. and all this was before my 8th grade year when we moved to VA. So even though I was removed from that environment for the most part (though it was still around, just hidden) in a Christian school, I wasn't really culture-shocked very much my senior year because I already knew what to expect.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that your kids will likely do just fine, and I'm sure mine would do really well too, but I know there are many things that went on at school (including the Christian school) that I was exposed to that my parents never knew about, and I don't want my kids exposed to things like that! I'm sure there will always be something that my kids will hear or see that I may never find out about, but for the most part, they won't get much, if anything, in a home environment that I do not approve of. I try not to control my kids, I want them to learn from everything and make their own mistakes, but I certainly can control their environment and introduce things to them slowly, as they are ready to handle it.
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